Archive for the 'Thought Wedgie' Category

18
Jan
11

Liz & Li’l Jimy – adventure girls

Their mother just grins like the Cheshire Cat any time I mention their activities, but both of the girls are a spitting image of her, so it should come as no surprise that I am the odd one out. They are the beauty of my life, her two children, they wouldn’t harm a fly, and can charm an Eskimo into buying ice cubes.

Liz was the firstborn and probably a typical baby up ’til about age two. By then she was ramblin’ around on both feet and talking like a Maine sailor. Then Li’l Jimy came along and I had three redheads to care about. I shouldn’t have worried though ’cause if Jimy wasn’t asleep or at mom’s breast, Liz was there to nurture her. She taught her how to talk, how to behave at tea, and how to act in any situation. By then Liz was a first-order princess of the highest, proper of demeanor, smarter than any audience, and a damned snappy dresser.

Li’l Jimy followed Liz around like my old pet duck for the first year, crawlin’ and squawkin’ as hard as she could to keep up, but it wasn’t long before she found her feet and and her voice. Since then those two have been joined ‘at the hip’, although by now Li’l Jimy always seems to be a step ahead of Liz. They run the local fields and woods, know all the farmers and have a fondness for Jenkins and his goats.

Liz with Li'l Jimy at the controls in Sequatchie, TN

They ignore the divide between boys and girls.. if anything can be done that means they can do it. They’ve been helping me in the shop for years and can take anything apart and put it back together. They could both read, write and do numbers before they started school. ‘Course we’ve taken them to the library in town two times a week for years so I suspect they’ve read their way through it as well as the encyclopedia we have at home.

Age 10 & 8 today, they are scary-smart and more capable of things than even I can imagine. I don’t worry about them per se but they are beginning to shock adults that don’t know them.

Like last weekend when the three of them went over into Sequatchie, Tennessee with the Everett family to watch them race motorcycles. They had a great time and are making plans to do it again this summer.

After they got back and the girls were asleep, Jane showed me a picture one of the spectators had taken.

She said “You know how Li’l Jimy is always one step ahead?” then she just grinned like that Cheshire Cat. 🙂

I knew they wouldn’t be content to be spectators !

10
Jul
10

a thoughtful girl

Shannon

She was a thoughtful girl. Not overly kind, just thoughtful of herself and of others and the world in general. I mean that she thought as in she considered stuff and outcomes and the future. Not just tomorrow, but next week, and down the road. She thought over, under, and around ideas and concepts. Much better than most folk did.

The fact she was drop dead beautiful, and sexy, was beside the point, but now that I mention the point, what was it ???

You didn’t have to see her, but if she was there you were compelled to be aware. Not of her, but of you, the both of you. She didn’t capture a room, but she slowly, helped you fill it with indescribable awareness.

Her voice may not have fit her face, as it went from a high alto down to high baritone (and oh so totally feminine) when secrets were being whispered or close thoughts shared.

It is so great to enjoy something you do not need to see that you enjoy so much more when you see it.

On the back of the bike

sweet breath on my neck

arms around me

sweet firm cusp of breast holding me,

the torture of continuing

to endure painful rapture

may be too much Shannon

25
Jun
10

Animal Cannon

If you don’t mind I’ll give you some general info on the Animal Cannon hobby …

Early development work on the Cat Cannon

Early development work on the Cat Cannon

Hand weaponry should really be treated as a separate topic. If you think about it, Mouse Cannon might sound cool, but you can’t really strap a cannon on the hip, can ya?

Smaller animal shot is getting down into the more normal range of the ‘old style’ calibers. We fondly call’em a Mouse Pounder. The trusty old MP is actually a 62mm barrel and many of us have quite fancy holsters. I prefer the clamshell you mentioned. Shot is cheap and inside 100ft the MP is a devastating weapon.

‘Course you gotta raise your kids right, so you start them with the smallest caliber weaponry which is the Igun series. And before you ask, yes, Steve Jobs is a big fan of this class of target gun and he got the idea to name the Iphone from us.

Obviously Igun is short for Insect Gun which uses 17 thru 23mm shot, standard NATO stuff. (North American Terrestrial Ordnance). Yes, you can shoot inanimate stuff like stones or hunks of wood, but only social deviates do that. We uphold our cultural standards in the hobby and I teach my kids ‘right’, so we stick with the live NATO rounds.

Ya got yer 17-23 caliber class ‘Bug Baby’ in both rifle and handgun styles, a nice agile weapon and the rounds are free. Double dangerous though when loaded with grasshoppers. The legs really attack the target.

From there you got the ‘Beetle Bouncer’ at 38 caliber. Standard load here in Missouri is June Bugs or the brown night beetles. Ladies prefer this weapon as it’s small and comes with a wide range of iridescent shot.

There is that special class at 45mm, but this is primarily a show pistol as the shot is restricted to the Rhinoceros Beetle. A hot collectors item though, and “Beetle Blaster” draws them into the tent at cannon shows.

Above these sizes you “go mammalian”, as we say. Lot’s of diversity here, and there are loads of guys (and gals) that make custom weapons. The aforementioned Mouse Pounder is the most popular. I’ve moved up from the mini-mammal to my beloved cat-cannon. A great all purpose weapon, and if you don’t mind an ‘inside’ joke, we like to say that cat-ammo will keep you alive both in the chamber or the stew pot.

There’s lots of exciting new things on the ammo front, what with the advances in genetics the last few years. It’s an exciting time to be associated with this whole Animal Cannon hobby, and great for the kids too, what with the emphasis on the new science.

Sorry to chat on like this, but talking hobbies is fun. We can chat some more later.

Right now, I gotta go out back and “feed the ammo”.

25
Jun
10

Stand Up Mouse

Stand Up Mouse

Stand Up Mouse

That’s probably not the best line to start the set with, but it does work, every time. Nobody accused Rodney of overworking “Take my wife, Please!!” did they? Not in the Catskills anyway, maybe Atlanta or Dallas.

But this is Billings, Montana and about the 20th stop (out of 26) on a long and grinding road. Sort of a White Man’s Chitlin’ Circuit with an equine feel. Cowboy doggerel and all that. At least I don’t do poetry or strum guitar.

I’m not an alcoholic (not yet) but the drink count is going up as I get a bit older, the road gets longer, and (it seems) the audience gets smaller.

‘Course I don’t have a large bag of cowboy or Big Sky jokes either and this ain’t the place for a southern Missouri hillbilly to attempt any jazz Cowboy poetry.

Fly fishing is off-topic for humor too, not forbidden, it’s just who ever heard a funny joke about fly fishing? I sure haven’t. There is “I got a new fly rod & reel for my wife … best deal I ever made!”, but that’s just a variation of Rodney’s old joke. Lob the setup in the air and slap that puppy outta the park. Timing and delivery is everything in stand up. Obviously the money is not, but you do this work for more than the money. At least in the artist community we do get some respect.

The twins, Ronnie & Connie

We all make that type of compromise, our own definition of what success really is, where happiness reaches an even keel. So I am and am not looking to the end of this tour. This is the last road tour, but the artist/entertainer seldom retires to a backwater.

You can always get a gig and work the craft. Shannon and I also have the ‘other’ business, but the twins are in the terrible two’s and she would appreciate a full time mate and so would I.

We’re gonna let the wheel turn, and start a new chapter to life, and that I’m looking for ward to. In a few weeks I get to say:

“Take my job, please!”

21
Jun
10

1 Line: Aging

As the passing of the years intervened in his increasing longevity, boredom slowed to a crawl.

13
Dec
09

God Channel

God went digital along with TV, the analog version is gone.

So God embraces new technologies, but no new stories, as His book is done and published.

All the diet books have not yet been written, their tomes are not finished, stay tuned, more at 11.

New pitchmen though, and lots of new old pitches, as they have 24/7 airspace to fill; more room to combat sellers of sweepers and vacuum cleaners and items to cook food on countertops and the latest and greatest new diet books or exercise machines.

Next, I’m gonna guess, is a compression of the message to ‘sound bites’ and text messages <140 char ” Jesus ❤ u, cum 2 the Lord” on Twitter.

So is God now a Twit?

13
Dec
09

An Uplifting Theory

Uplifting refers to the act of intervening with an existing species on a planet which would result in heightened, accelerated, or advanced genetic development of that species. This can be accomplished through the application of biological, genetic, transgenic, and artificial intelligence technologies. After that, the planet and species are left to ‘fend on their own’.

Although this has been implemented on thousands of planets down thru time, there has been yet, no way to determine what outcome may be achieved by the experiment as the ages pass. There are still too many variables that can effect the outcome.

The experiment is usually performed on the what is considered the “best” candidate from that planet, or sometimes from the best semi-sentient candidate from that planet. To date, regardless of the starting species or alteration, the results have been random.

It is true that most (though not all) test species have progressed toward sentience, intelligence, and reasoning, none have gone on to create any type of society, culture, or civilization which we deem worthy of contact. This is not to be considered a statement of defeat in this endeavor, but an honest admission that further work need be done.

Only one (so far) has developed a “writing”, a form of communicating with its own future which seems fundamental for a species to “advance”, to create a future.

We’ll keep an eye on this planet .. those that call themselves human.




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