Posts Tagged ‘Musings

06
Mar
11

of long away and far ago …

At first thought I’d have suspected it would be like separating the wheat from chaff, but it has not turned out that way. I started late last fall to finish the organizing (or culling) of the items of my life that I have been dragging along in boxes and containers, and reminiscing on their importance to justify keeping them around in my old age to admire during my “ending years”.

To be able to look forward to retirement years with a clean, simple, organized home front seemed a proper way to start the final phase of my life. One thing was to do the ‘necessaries’ such as a living will, and the esteemed “last will and testament” which at first glance were for me, then you conclude they are simply to make your coming demise easier for those who will remain after you. So be it ,,, I shall dot those last few I’s and cross those T’s in the next few days and get the nagging relatives back in their burrows where they belong.

So I spent the winter remembering old loves, and great times spent doing things good & bad, and such as that so that I could judge the volume of my keepsakes and build the last of the shelves and cupboards for their display. I am doing the last task today, the Sorting Of The Books. Here is where I was a few hours earlier today:

Headed to the library

These books are now sorted by author, typed into an email by author and title, stored in several boxes. I love that wonderful smell that old books acquire with age, but like all the other trinkets, and letters, and photos that I have sorted thru this winter most all of these books will be delivered to the local library in the next few days.

The reason being, that despite my bloated opinion of myself or my self-worth, none of these items are important or meaningful. Nor will they fit thru the ‘eye of the needle’ so it makes no sense to put much of anything on a shelf, so I have saved myself many days of wood working over the next few weeks. Whew!

Neither is anyone clamoring to have me explain the importance of these items and to learn from the vast wisdoms that I surely possess. Nor are the multitudes stopping by to thank me for the items I’ve left them in my will, since it is considered in bad taste to make those announcements before your death. It certainly gives a new meaning to “delayed gratification”. 🙂

It is not a sad thing I describe, but a simple if brutal truth, things ain’t important (mostly), and if there is any importance at all it is in the minds of people, acquaintances, friends and family and requires no room on a shelf and need not to be seen or watched to be admired.

May he go forth in the sunrise boat,
May he come to the port in the sunset boat,
May he go among the imperishable stars,
May he journey in the Boat of a Million Years.

The Book of Going Forth by Daylight
(Theban recension, ca. 18th Dynasty)

30
Jan
11

the fate of marban

“Crack”

A sound that was gone before the mind could register it.
A short singular tone.
Missing the attack or delay of a bell or piano string.
No overtones.
A photon of sound.

marban tea cup


Then a dribble onto the counter top, showing a feint color of traditional English Breakfast tea. Coming from a break that has been there for almost 12 years, an old and friendly scar to me. It is no longer a surface break, the dribbles attest to its final maturity.

I reach for the Mark Twain cup and press it into service, swapping steeping tea and moving the seine full of tea to finish. Three minutes for proper tea is time to consider the future for the marban.

I am now a decider of fate. Power in my hands. I am like a god, to decide the future if one will be. Yet, I’ll miss all those cracks in the glaze. I’ve watched them grow over the years and appreciate the ‘character’ that emerged. Old age approaching in contrast to the modern graphic used by the mysterious marban. Located somewhere in Korea the bottom of it claims.

I can’t demote the soapstone pencil holder on the writing desk. That holder of pencils was designed for holding pencils, purchased to hold my pencils, still holds my pencils …. you don’t abandon such long term commitments. Yet I have to give up old marban and that was certainly long term, and satisfying, each time a properly hot tea. Some consistency is good.

No you can’t see the death crack, it’s on the back side, no need to glorify it or frighten the children. Nor will examining it resolve the issue of “what happens to marban now?” or how I will finally wield the power of my decision.

“Horns of a Dilemma?”, no, I don’t think that leaking elevates it to that plane.

“Situational Ethics?”, no, that involves deciding that making a decision that you know is wrong, but not wrong since considering the circumstances you’ve decided that you think it is justified to do the wrong thing.

No need to make being the god of marban fate that complex.

Perhaps it could hold pencils in the shop.

It is just a cup.

26
Jan
11

Waiting for godot? or valentine smith?

One day I stumbled into owning a motorcycle. I loved the bike but it was no fun on longer rides and it went too fast too quickly. Sensing death I sold it and bought my current ride. The clouds of impending death parted, the sun shined thru and I thought a motorcycle vacation would the thing to do.

..what? ..

Traveling on a bike is usually a solitary experience rather than with a troop of scouts or family, or a troupe of musicians in a van. It would be similar to a solo canoe trip in terms of serenity but with occasional exposure to the irrationality of people.

None of this is of importance to anyone, but … I made the not unusual mistake of opening my mouth one day amongst a group of riders and in no short amount of time someone had begun blogging about “The Rufus Method” as though it were the spiritual equivalent of ‘Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance’. All well and good as far as I’m concerned, but it’s obvious this blog is a series of posts that must build thru a crescendo of tension with a final and climactic ending. Thusly the posts did build intensity to a soft forte, third movement, and then, and then …

nothing

That’s right, nada, zip, zilch. So an attendant readership is forced to (metaphorically) zip their gumpy back in their pants and go home. Sheesh 🙂

Obviously, reports of Blogger Death are later found out to be exaggerated, the wheel of life still turns around, and things are as they are, so at some point in time the aborted subject will be completed in fantasticus fashion.

Anyway, I did take that vacation. Bourbon Street in New Orleans is major fun especially for a musician. I quickly developed some simple rules, not because they are GOOD RULES, but because they are good for me. No need to chisel these damned things into stones or debate them with burning bushes.

1. When I returned from that first trip I needed a vacation to recover from my vacation. That was not supposed to be the result. I’ve finished many a long evening playing drums, and although tired I was not beat to death, there was a renewal of spirit. I have never again gone on “vacation’.

2. I am a bad tourist. I mean to do or to see something just to say you saw it seems kinda superficial in its intent. Other than that it’s like I have ADD or something. I can be bored in 10 minutes, easily. Don’t get me wrong, I do touristy things, but I have no idea when the mood will strike, so to plan for stuff is a waste of my time.

3. I generally dislike restaurants. I hate when the waiteress comes over 6 times to ask “Is Everything OK???”. I don’t like air conditioning so I LOVE eating outside, that’s one reason I like Mexico. I’ve been known to spend an hour searching out that hole in the wall place where locals eat.

4. Don’t look for adventure, it’s just like hookers, which are everywhere. I’ve never been anywhere you couldn’t stumble across a hooker 🙂 Same with adventure, or unexpected totally cool stuff. Like my second trip to our south coast. I skipped NOLA and stayed east of Ponchartrain and rolled into Pass Christian and asked about motel rooms; “Downtown is probably full up.” I found a room at a small place next door to the swank hotel. Next day I’m holding down the beach with a mega-Long Island Iced Tea soaking sun and sea breeze. The beach fills with babes in bikinis doing all sort of cute babe things, there’s even a few guys out there taking photos. Hmmm. The hotel next door is hosting the Miss America contest. You can work out the details from there.

5. Something is alive.

The weekend before my first trip I loaded up the bike with all my travel gear for a test ride. I went 30-40 miles and pulled into to the same Quick-Trip I always stopped at for the customary coffee and Dolly Madison powdered donuts. I caught a smile and then a nod from folks walking in and out from the pumps while I checked my travel bags. I went inside, got my stuff, and the clerk says “Where ya headed?”. I look up and “Memphis, to visit my brother” jumps out of my mouth.

“I’ve never been there, but I hear it’s a fun place” he says. I smile in response and add “It’s ok, but I always enjoy the scenery and people around here when I go thru”. He smiles and hands me my change, we trade ‘have a nice day’ and I go outside to enjoy the road food. There are more smiles and parking lot conversation with the patrons. I light a smoke while I have a nice chat with Rod Serling.

He explains what has transpired; something about the Cowboy Mystique .. riding off into the sunset and how it brings out a something in other people – a hope? an aspiration? a simple joy of the moment? “It could be many things, unique to each individual, but a common thread that sews us all together.” he says.

I rode home.

25
Nov
10

Thanksgiving

Taylor Swift

So I wake up on turkey day and I’m sitting here with cup of coffee and watching the creek shine in the morning twilight. Thanksgiving is (or should be) a rather contemplative day. I certainly have a lot of things to be thankful for and the many things I have.

The tv is on with entertainment news and “surprise, surprise” //say that with your Gomer Pyle voice// I hear that Kanye West is indulging in yet another dumb ass rant. I saw the fiasco he pulled at the VMA’s and saw the NBC interview a few days ago and, like, he’s under serious sedation or he just eats stupid for breakfast.

I don’t know, but being thankful that I am not a Kanye West is is kind of an anti way of being thankful.

The segment ends with an ad for this evenings NBC special featuring Taylor Swift.

That sort of balances out world karma real well.

Thanksgiving is gonna be a good day.

23
Nov
10

hottie for Prez

It thought it was interesting a few years ago when Sarah Palin the female Governor of Alaska was floated onto the McCain VP list. Since then the media has been delighted to make her a continual target for their fodder. Despite the media saying she is not ready to be president, is not running for the job, and couldn’t win even if she did run … the media is making a big deal of this. So much of a big deal that they are effectively running her for President whether she wants it or not !!

Well, all the media bullshit aside, we need to address the issue like adults, so we need to accept the fact that:

1) Someday we will elect a female to the highest office
2) That woman may be a really good looking babe

Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin


I think Ms. Palin is one hot babe, what else can I say? I have no doubt that a lot of guys would agree, and I’d imagine that she would get a big ‘thumbs up’ from the lesbian community as well.

So the media is going to feature her constantly the next couple a years and for me it means that on occasion a good looking babe will be on screen to feast the eyes on.

If she got elected we wouldn’t have to take any crap from the French, ’cause she’d whip Nicolas Sarkosy

    and

that wimpy tart he runs with. 🙂

10
Jul
10

a thoughtful girl

Shannon

She was a thoughtful girl. Not overly kind, just thoughtful of herself and of others and the world in general. I mean that she thought as in she considered stuff and outcomes and the future. Not just tomorrow, but next week, and down the road. She thought over, under, and around ideas and concepts. Much better than most folk did.

The fact she was drop dead beautiful, and sexy, was beside the point, but now that I mention the point, what was it ???

You didn’t have to see her, but if she was there you were compelled to be aware. Not of her, but of you, the both of you. She didn’t capture a room, but she slowly, helped you fill it with indescribable awareness.

Her voice may not have fit her face, as it went from a high alto down to high baritone (and oh so totally feminine) when secrets were being whispered or close thoughts shared.

It is so great to enjoy something you do not need to see that you enjoy so much more when you see it.

On the back of the bike

sweet breath on my neck

arms around me

sweet firm cusp of breast holding me,

the torture of continuing

to endure painful rapture

may be too much Shannon

25
Jun
10

Stand Up Mouse

Stand Up Mouse

Stand Up Mouse

That’s probably not the best line to start the set with, but it does work, every time. Nobody accused Rodney of overworking “Take my wife, Please!!” did they? Not in the Catskills anyway, maybe Atlanta or Dallas.

But this is Billings, Montana and about the 20th stop (out of 26) on a long and grinding road. Sort of a White Man’s Chitlin’ Circuit with an equine feel. Cowboy doggerel and all that. At least I don’t do poetry or strum guitar.

I’m not an alcoholic (not yet) but the drink count is going up as I get a bit older, the road gets longer, and (it seems) the audience gets smaller.

‘Course I don’t have a large bag of cowboy or Big Sky jokes either and this ain’t the place for a southern Missouri hillbilly to attempt any jazz Cowboy poetry.

Fly fishing is off-topic for humor too, not forbidden, it’s just who ever heard a funny joke about fly fishing? I sure haven’t. There is “I got a new fly rod & reel for my wife … best deal I ever made!”, but that’s just a variation of Rodney’s old joke. Lob the setup in the air and slap that puppy outta the park. Timing and delivery is everything in stand up. Obviously the money is not, but you do this work for more than the money. At least in the artist community we do get some respect.

The twins, Ronnie & Connie

We all make that type of compromise, our own definition of what success really is, where happiness reaches an even keel. So I am and am not looking to the end of this tour. This is the last road tour, but the artist/entertainer seldom retires to a backwater.

You can always get a gig and work the craft. Shannon and I also have the ‘other’ business, but the twins are in the terrible two’s and she would appreciate a full time mate and so would I.

We’re gonna let the wheel turn, and start a new chapter to life, and that I’m looking for ward to. In a few weeks I get to say:

“Take my job, please!”




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